Heads in the Sand

via Heads in the Sand



I make too many assumptions based on my own preconceived

(and always unproven) ideas,

based on my own hurts and fears…

I’d call myself an idiot but that is self defeating as well.

Time to pull up my straps and get on with life.


Live life DAMMIT!

Forget about what was…

look to what will be….

Nothing will necessarily be what


but rather what


Help me be a better person

to myself  and

to others around me.


Happy 22 Years in Vancouver



March 10, 1996 a Via rail passenger train rolled into a cloudy but warm Sunday morning carrying a young bright-eyed adventurer and his terrified yet loyal cat. It was a beginning of a new chapter in their lives which see many twists and turns along the way.

The bright-eyed adventurer was me and the terrified cat was Gaston who has since passed on after a long and full life in the big city.

I wasn’t sure what my path was then and was met with many an unexpected twist turns this past 22 years, and yes it has been 22 years living in this great city, an expensive city, but I have never looked back.


If you had told me 22 years ago, that I would be attending 2 affirming churches (St. Andrews Wesley United Church and St Brigid’s Community), that my sexuality was in fact OK and normal, that I would have a wonderful and diverse group of friends, and the list goes on…. I would have probably looked at you side ways and maybe even laughed.

Yes, life here in Vancouver has been met with unexpected turns and surprises and yet, despite the hurts and pains and uncertainties, I do love it here. I love my friends, family and my job.

Christ Church Cathedral


I thank God who looked after me through the good and bad times, through the wilderness and back and for letting me know that I was precious in his sight, and that I was made GOOD.

 “welcome back…. We missed you”,  

Were the first words I heard in my heart when I returned to church and that was a year ago.


Happy 22 years and I expect more of the unexpected surprises for the next 22 years and  beyond…..

ST Andrews Gang



I was listening to some music this morning and this song came up. It’s by Craig Connelly, who is a producer/ DJ of trance music. He also had an accoustic version which really helped the lyrics to shine. Appropriate in this season of Lent.

“Something’s come undone, I can’t see the line… it has faded away this time”

How can I

Bring me down again
I wasted in your words
They haunt me here
And I let you in

Something’s come undone
I can’t see the line
It has faded away this time
This time

Only you’ve been inside my head
Only you know my weaknesses

How can I still believe when I’m on my knees
How can I learn to see if I can’t breathe

How can I

How can I still believe when I’m on my knees
How can I learn to see if I can’t breathe
How can I when I’m on my knees
How can I if I can’t breathe
How can I still believe when I’m on my knees
How can I learn to see if I can’t breathe

Only you’ve been inside my head
Only you know my weaknesses

Some thoughts about this BC Family day from 2014: A Turning Point

A couple of days ago, I stumbled across this post on Facebook from 4 years ago. I had kept it private and never posted it publicly as I was going through a difficult time in my life. Looking back, I can see this as a start of a new journey that eventually brought me back from the wilderness into a loving and affirming church.

FYI: finances are stable and I’m happy with my job and life in general. I still have Kinks to work out but I am surrounded by great group of friends and supportive church families!

St. Andrews Wesley United Church and St Brigids Community


February 10, 2014 11:14am

Some thoughts about this BC Family day…

I was looking forward to this extra long weekend, but as it turned out, I caught a death of cold which made me very unproductive. When I was finally able to go out with friends Saturday night, I somehow managed to lose my wallet and phone, something I still have to figure out how.

Though the day did end in a positive note, it still had me thinking about my life and priorities. Its Funny how a cold and a loss of a wallet and phone would get you all philosophical.

So it seems my life has been going in the wrong direction and now I have to figure out where to go from here.. The thoughts that are running through my head, Love, Life, Friends, Family, Finances, the list goes on. What have I missed? What have I forgotten to do? What have I over looked? What REALLY matters? A concerned stranger said that I looked sad and lonely. I never thought of that, but it does explain some of my actions and feelings lately. I do feel powerless, and afraid, unable to step out.


Well I guess my first step is to talk to someone who will listen, which right now does not seem to be possible but I guess I’ll just keep looking until I find it. Then work through the fears and then take a few scary steps…

Toronto just may be in the works after all…
….though I have no clue what that looks like.

Then there is my finances.! I may have to ask my Dad to help me in that area as I am still having trouble. Time for a shake up and that’s scary in itself.

where to start…

how will I proceed?